Thursday, March 19, 2009

Peace:)

Today went well in the morning, alot of running around with lots of paperwork for my trip to Japan and China, but glad to be finally getting it done, so that took alot of my attention off ed, but I'm still struggling with finding the right balance with planning meals too much or trying to listen to my body, as I've been listening to my body, lately and I find myself not eating enough, and then feeling guilty when I do eat, so I feel like its triggering restricting, so I need to work on that more, I had a great Pad Thai for lunch though, which I ate in the cafeteria, I'm also trying to make sure I'm with others when I eat, so I'm not tempted to restrict or binge, it seems to help alot.
Some great quotes from a book I'm reading on eating disorders called, Thin Enough by Sheryle Cruse and its about her life through ed but after every section has response questions to help recovery and is book to help guide people through recovery, unlike the novel Wasted which I found triggered alot fo my ed symptoms, and decided to steer clear from books like that, until I'm at that stage in life that I can read those things without getting triggered.
Some Quotes that I find helpful are
Sheryl Cruse, "Criticism is bound to come, and I had to learn how to deal with it. For most of my life, I'd equated love with being perfect,being pleasing. Destructive criticism occured in my past, hurting me, directly attacking me with such labels of "worthless" and "stupid."Now constructive criticism existed to help me. Just because I'd failed at doing something 100 percent perfectly did not mean that I was 100 percent worthless."
This was extremely helpful for mean becuase I'm very sensitive and want to please everyone around me, and find it hard to except criticism without taking it too deeply to heart and hurting me. I realize that I need to listen to the criticism but not let it make me feel unworthy, or not good enough.


I just found this cute picture of me , with all my three brothers from when I was about 5, ahh those days, I was a huge tomboy since I grew up with 3 rowdy boys and spent most of my time outside playing make believe with them and climbing all over our treehouse and jungle gym, when I wasn't doing that, I was reading:) thats me the english major

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Im sure you'll get to that place you want to be with eating with your determination :)
stay strong!

Sophia Lee said...

you're so adorable! you have that awesome mischievious grin in your face, and you have that kind of spunk seen in you that makes me KNOW you're gonna achieve wonders. I know ED is struggles and hardship, but keep up the good fight. and thanks for your AMAZING comment. You really warmed my heart. you have an amazing gift, too. the gift of making others feel happy. thank you so much.

Trying To Heal said...

I read wasted and found it very triggering too, but haven't read the other book you talked about. but if you want, i read a book called, "life inside the thin cage" by constance rhodes and it's really good. you can check out her webpage here (https://ssl21.chi.us.securedata.net/findingbalance.com/merchantmanager/product_info.php?cPath=4&products_id=8)