Kicked Eds But!!!!!!!!!!!

I started therapy and my first session went well, i had a hard weekend of restricting and then tonight i binged on a bunch of sugar free stuff, leaving me with a horrible stomache and thats when I decided I'm sick of feeling sick and making myself this way. So embracing this positive thought, I threw away all my diet products right into the trash, and said take that E.D. This is my life:)


I want to be free like I was last semester in China, free to think, free to live, free to embrace life, and free to eat. I was happy in China even though I gained some weight from trying to recover, it was better then what I'm like now!

Start at Therapy

I finally made a big step two weeks ago, and decided to go to therapy, I been hanging unto my disorder far too long, and having too many set-backs while doing recovery on my own, so I choose to try it out! It was so hard to make the appointment, I kept finding myself saying, "I don't really need it, and I'm not as bad as I used to be with my ed." Coming back from China, and Japan and realizing that none of my behaviors have dissappeared and some of them dug even deeper.
I knew I needed to make this commitment!
It was hard when I walked in two weeks ago to my first appt. but it went well, it was akward and for sure extremely stressful, but I pulled through and made the best of it.
Last night was my second appt. now I have mixed feelings, we talked about alot that I've never really told anyone, and brought up alot of emotions.
My eating disordered self said, "Just don't go back, you really don't need it, and you are doing fine with your dieting and this is just getting in the way of all that"
But I gave it a good night of journaling and a long walk to think and realized
I want recovery, and I know if I back-out of therapy that I will continue down this path.
So I chose therapy!!