Monday, New Beginnings and a New Journey

Today I started out after reading my new book about recovery and it consists of a 30 day plan that I'm going to try and stick to, the hard thing about it for me, is aknowledging the need to eat healthy and that I deserve it, a another book I read last night also about recovery, said that we need to forgive ourselves and others in order to move on with our future and healing, for me the hardest thing is forgiving myself, for the years of destruction that I placed on my life from my binging and restricting habits since I was 16 and I want to change, I feel that I am unworthy of healing and being happy, but I realize that I do deserve it after reading yesterday, As far as food wise its still really hard for me to eat and feel okay due to my acid reflux but I'm trying to eat 5 smaller meals that my doctor recommended I should do,
So today I enjoyed
Breakfast:Blueberry Bliss Luna Bar, and a Banana
Lunch:A salad w/chickpeas and also an apple
Snack:1 cup of Kashi GoLean(my favorite) and Plain Yogurt with some Trader Joe's Clover Blossom Honey-I highly reccomend this combo, very good
Dinner:I'm planning on a hummus sandwhich on whole wheat w/tabbloueh also
Snack:Chocolate Soymilk and an orange

These are all safe foods for me and I realize I need to challenge myself with stuff I normally wouldn't feel comfortable eating, except if I was binging, so I'm going to work hard the next seven days on just eating healthy and consistently, and then slowly work in other foods, once I feel comfortable with this.

This picture has a meaning behind it for me, it was when I was really struggling in high school with my eating disorder by myself, and went to Germany and was able to have a week of peace and what I feel like life would be like without ed. This is a picutre of a chapel in Heidelberg, Germany, and It makes me feel that freedom and renewal are not that faraway