Sunday, October 31, 2010

Standing up for myself!

It all started with a simple latte this afternoon and a nasty barista, that led me to this finding!

When someone is rude or hurtful to me I turn to my eating disorder!

The situation:
This afternoon I went to get a latte at a quite expensive place, and I needed one quarter back in change, so I asked if I could have my change in quarters. The guy very rudely said, "We don't do that here."
I felt upset at first and almost apologized at my request, but I stayed strong, no apology and reminded myself It wasn't a big favor to ask when I just spent four dollars on a latte there! hmmmmmmmmmmmm, so in the past, I would have apologized, went back to my apartment, and beat myself up and use behaviors.

Today, I smiled as I left, yes, I was upset and did pour my latte down my kitchen sink drain. But I didn't use behaviors and let it go, I just won't go back there for coffee again..

Situation two/ trigger 2

Was out with friends and ate one reeses cup with the comment of your eating alot of chocolate tonight from another friend.
I stuck to my guns, and at first let it bother me, but then let the comment pass, after thinking through the situation and noticing the rest of the night how this same friend apologized for what she was eating or if she ate too much, so she wasn't too happy with herself I noticed as she apologized for eating another caramel apple hmmmmmmmmm?

I did go home and beat myself up, but kept thinking of how this friend's comment was more about her own insecurity around food, and not just targeted at me.
I stopped beating myself up, and let myself enjoy one of my biggest fear foods, and did it moderately!


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