Chocolate Addiction?

I currently am having a chocolate addiction, ahhhhh, why is it always the things that set off my acid reflux that I crave, I bought a bar of Green and Blacks -MY FAV- who can say no to this stuff;) Dark Chocolate w/ nuts and dried fruit and it took me back to my favorite Cadbury fruit & nut bar when I was younger but its ten times better and its organic. But I think i'm over my chocolate fetish, as I seemed to have enough and instead of denying myself it, and feeling bad, I ate what I wanted and then i was done, no binge, just pure enjoyment w/o guilt. Thats how works listening to my body and going with what I want, but not overdoing it:) Yet, since I don't have a car, that what happens when you want to travel to Japan and China and one year all your funds dissappear, so I have my loyal bike to take me everywhere, but it decided to get a flat tire on the way back from my favorite beach, on my day off, so I got the pure bliss of wheeling it back to campus, ahhhhhhhhhhh 3 miles in cycling shoes would have been awful, luckily I packed a pair of flip-flop, yeah for adventure, and the fresh air today!Well, I need to add more photos to my blog, once I find my camera, I will do so, so wait tommorow hopeful there will be photos? Stay tuned: I'm going out to a cute college hang-out for breakfast w/ a friend tommorow!

Happy for LIfe!!

Today was hard, I did binge quite frequently, but then tonight its like I had a breakthrough, I am now after being binge free for an entire month, and then just starting again into the behaviors again this week. I realize how horrible/unhappy I feel while binging, and how much better and free I felt w/o it. I now know its possible to recover and I'm going to continue down the path of recovery, and I know this week I made some mistakes but I'm ready to move on.
3 positive things I did today
1- I had a delicious Raspberry Colada Smoothie at the cutest Italian style coffee shop w/ a dear friend
2-One of my closest friends talked to me for 2 hours today on the phone
3-a sweet bike ride on a cool summer evening talking w/ God
I'm now ready to give recovery my all
100%

Back to Life in the US and ED 's attacks

Here are some pictures from my amazing trip to Japan and the three japanese arts I had a chance to practice, including pottery, calligraphy, and tea ceremony, I truly loved my time spent there, and am now missing it:(





I moved back to my college campus to work for the next month and am now finding myself plunging back deep into my disorder as this is the place it always gets the worse. I feel so lonely and its so easy to get deep into old ways of binging and overexercising and restricting. I grew so much during my trip my binging literally was crazy my first two weeks there I could not stop, since i had my own apartment I didn't feel the guilt of binging, if I had been staying with anyone, and it was crazy, and I often cried myself to sleep. Yet, then I started sorting out my triggers and was able to amazingly not binge for an entire month, and also I was learing to except myself and not to hate myself. Its so hard though but now back at college my binging came back and its hard to fight it away again. I hope everyones is doing well, I haven't written in a long time but I miss blogging:)